People don’t understand me. They never really have. In my youth I was immediately pegged as ‘unusual’ or, my personal favorite, ‘crazy’. Even those closest to me are often at a loss for patience when it comes to understanding. Eventually, nearly all I have known, at one point or another, have declared their resignation of affection. People tend to flee just as their collection of misunderstandings have begun to pile up like bodies in the street.
Have you ever noticed that most people are adverse to understanding the roles they play in their own life? Feigning the role of victim against the cruelties of this world. They are most unwilling to share in the growth of self and I am left to stand against them in reason. Their limit has been met, they have given-up. They don’t know how to handle something so bewildering and unknown. A fairly common reality for me, so I have discovered.
The stories vary but the ending is always the same. I could literally plan the demise of whatever relationship we have by the ticking of a clock. When they are at a loss for words, they say the one thing they never should. In all of their frustration they go for the strongest tool they can wield against me, the tool to end all wars. It’s never a slow progression to the jugular, is it? In my experience, it has consistently been a desperate jump to the finish line in, what I believe to be, an attempt to silence their conscience. Judgement be their armor, words their weapon. They can only see our differences.
Mind you, my beliefs are not founded on whimsy or an emotional unrest, they stem from the decisions I’ve made in my life, from the path I have walked. I have walked the path many times. The terrain be rough, the road be tiresome. Many mold their lives around the avoidance of the path, never realizing they’re already there. While lodged in fear not many people understand, however, that we all trudge down the exact same path. Every one of us. All of the distance humanity has preverbally traversed is all done on just one road. And there is just the one road.
Why does no one else see the connection? The similarities between us all? I may be different for this reason or that, but, ultimately, we are all limited to being human. Which means we all feel the same pain, the same joy. We all long for a genuine connection with another soul. We all want to be seen, our true selves long to be acknowledged. We are all plagued with indecision, a lack of confidence, we question our self-worth. We all live with regret, we are all controlled by fear, we all have a pinnacle moment that has defined us somehow. We are all burdened by responsibility or an experience mangled by trauma. We are all the same.
When you stop comparing others to your own limitations you will find some amazing individuals in this world. You will find a new echelon of life that you had never considered. Your mind will rest, your heart will open and your spirit can begin to heal.
Forgive us who are keen to ruffling the feathers of the gods, those of us who live life on a different spectrum, those of us who see no differences between us. We walk with love as our guide down that singular road. Regardless of weather, the days here are long, golden and filled with light. There is no deeper truth than that.
For all your cruel words, thoughtless actions, selfish inclinations, my heart will waiver, but it will love nonetheless. My appreciation is strengthened in your weakness. My resolve will grow under the relentlessness of your fight. You may not understand me, it is only because you cannot actually see me. Look at me with your heart, without the fuel of fire from your ego. I bare my naked soul to the world, I wear my heart on my sleeve. Although, at times, a rather painful disposition, I admit, I would never want to live in any other way.
The Rhythm of Her 