I love you. I love you in a way no other ever could. Why? Because I understand you in a way no one ever will.
More than anything, however, I am sorry. I am sorry for every single aching situation I have forced you through. I’m sorry for dreaming beyond reality and insisting your belief in my nonsensical desires. I’m sorry for forcing hope when there was none. I’m sorry for pushing you for more when you had nothing left. I’m sorry.
I honestly never realized the harm I was causing you with my romantic notions. I didn’t understand the damage I was doing by dragging you through moments where I believed hope was my guide. I truly believed I was acting only in your best interest. I was wrong. So wrong.
I wish I could tell you that I will never hurt you again. I would be lying. No matter the lessons, the pain or the trauma, I will always go on believing in something bigger than this life. I will continue to yearn freely for that of which does not actually exist. I will forever think that someday it will all be different. And for that, too, I am sorry.
Even though it doesn’t seem it, as I apparently don’t know how to show it, I love you. I truly do. I love your light and your willingness. I love your ability to look past everything for a bigger purpose. I love your forgiveness and understanding. I love the resonate beauty of your inner self. These very things will be our downfall. Repeatedly. But I will love you nonetheless. Always.
Please know that we are alone in this. Know that things will always get painfully rough, yet they will always become beautiful, again. This is the cycle. This is life. No matter how much we accept, forgive or let go, something will always be there to remind us of our capability to feel.
Life is never one-sided. Ever. Where there is love there is heartbreak. Where there is peace there is chaos. Where there is euphoria there is anguish. And although we may embrace these truths, it will never, ever take away the deep seeded feeling of unrelenting pain.
But, I love you. Through everything, all of it. No matter what, I will always love you.
Always.
The Rhythm of Her 