Dearest Journal,

I woke up today feeling extremely hollow. As if all my ability to feel left me in my sleep. Today, and I’ll say for today only, I literally feel nothing. It makes me wonder if this is a type of survival mode? Shutting down due to being severely overwhelmed? I don’t know. I truly hope […]

Haiku Called Nothing

I can’t fucking sleep Grief in relentless pursuit Of my sanity

To the Moon

Searching, floating, flying Wanting something more Needing something real Giving myself to destiny Pushing through chaos Rolling in my dreams How can I resist? I need something more I need to feel again Am I able? Trying to build my strength Finding my legs I want to stand Give me the courage My heart is […]

Haiku Called _____________

Life fucks with your plans It’s never what you hope for Now I drink, thanks life

Echo

Reverberating silence fills my senses Unending quiet Unmovable stillness I cannot change what is happening Space has torn down the barriers Time has decimated change The vastness expands around me Swallowing me into oblivion Nothing of what has been plead Nothing of what has been promised No balance No give and take Just take And […]

A Haiku Called Angry

He’s my fucking light I still can’t believe he’s gone How could you do it?

Dear Damn Journal

Ok. Today is no fucking bueno. Like I say, rather often, I have good days and bad days. Today is a bad fucking day. Sometimes when I go through this I can be sad, quiet, broken, angry. Today is angry. Im so fucking mad about ALL of this. Im the most mad at the thought […]

Withered

What else can I say That I haven’t already said My feelings haven’t changed Nor the thoughts in my head A heart destroyed Spirit torn apart How can I go on Without your beautiful heart Left to this world Alone on the path I would have gone with you But you didn’t even ask Memories […]

The Promise

I knew then why I did it I can’t remember why now I am desperately trying to recall Because I need that remembrance Or I won’t make it through this I am staring destiny in the face And I am asking it why Destiny What an absurd concept Predetermined to disappoint I can’t believe you’re […]

Gone

As I sit here waiting for my world to shift I am taking in every single second of this moment Breathing in the memories Reveling in the trades Absorbing the rush of the breeze blowing through my being I sit mesmerized by the shadows of clouds Adding deep hues of emerald to the carved peaks […]

A Letter From the Lost

I am utterly incapable of comprehending any of this. Nothing in me can believe you’re gone, my love. How can this be happening? One moment we are in each others bliss, the next…I am alone. This is something I will never understand, or accept. I’m spinning in fucking circles. I keep seeing you. In every […]

Forlorn

I rest my thoughts upon my palm And give in to my reality Comprehension eludes at every turn Still I wonder deeper into the unknown… Alone Countless years, hours turned to millennia Time will trudge on But all the voyages of heart, flourishing of soul Be done by your will Be done by my love […]

Nights of Remember

As twilight creeps in Exhaustion devours me Yet sleep still evades me My mind races in circles You are my only thoughts Upon the floor Anchored in sorrow Awashed in moonlight Still Silent As if the world has stopped As if time has learned to forgive I can feel the floor pressing into me, The […]

Again

I will never touch your face Or feel your warmth I will never hear your stories Or stoke your dreams I will never stave off your fears Or reassure your heart I will never feel your deep understanding Or hold your gaze in silence I will never lie helpless with you Or be vulnerable in […]

Eden Lost

A place in time, wrapped in gold A vivid fantasy dripping in memories A perfect world A perfect love Contrived by nature, designed by fate It was our heaven In a breath, our world shattered I watched it fall My soul of which was sacrificed could not spare it Our dream gone with the wind […]

Adrift

Suspended in a nightmare Disoriented and confused Angry and lost Raised as steel, spirit of iron And a heart that radiates the color of the sun Silence be thy resolution Stoic be thy frame Caged demons become unfettered Take your time Let yourself free, let yourself feel Forgive regret Forget follies Hold dear the warmth, […]

Kawika

I’m lying awake and I’m dreaming of you I can see you so clearly The squint in your smile The beaming of your joy The transcending love in your eyes You’re still here with me The memories wrap around me Comforting my sorrow and crushing my heart I am longing for the warmth of you […]

Sleeping with Ghosts

I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. I am not strong enough. And even if I were I almost refuse to be…for this. How can anyone ask me to be strong through this? Because they have no idea the depth of our love for one another. No one will ever understand but […]

Immeasurable

Your love Your light Your hope Your compassion Your beauty Your depth Your majesty The pain The anguish The sorrow The hopelessness The emptiness The loneliness The heartbreak

Silence

Sitting in space without course Navigating through the dark by searching for stars Drifting amongst dreams within reality Lost in the silence Guided by nothing All angles and all views Everything is the same Longing for hope by praying for answers Energy rips through splitting the soul Hollow vessel increases the void All is bound […]